Contentment is the Winning Word

So it has been a while since I've sat down and wrote but today I had the sudden urge to do so. Not about anything specific I guess but just to enjoy the feeling of putting words down on paper. Or a screen to be more accurate. It has been an interesting few months since last posted on here and what I've learned as of recently is when life hits you it hits you pretty dang hard, and it usually aims for very sensitive areas. For me life came in the from of college loans. My previous idea that I had a six month window in which after I would start paying was shattered when I received my "This is how much you owe and you have to pay it....." NEXT MONTH! $13,000 dollars of student loans with no job, no money, and no means of acquiring said amount of money besides maybe robbing a bank but I don't look good in orange. So to say the least these last few days have been filled to the brim with stressful, mind racing thoughts of how I'm going to start paying this money back. but I had a small idea pop into my head, and with every thought that became devoted to that idea it grew until I finally thought to myself "Are you mental? How could writing help you make $$$$$. At this level at least? I mean of course big name authors make all the big bucks but how could a small internet blog make me any money at all? People. Lots and lots of people. Like any other service or idea it requires an audience someone to market towards to place your idea in front of and catch there eye. But for me who could that be? Others struggling with debt like me? The millions upon millions of students who attend overpriced colleges in order to leave there without a job and without a hope of every surfacing from the ocean that is their student loans. Or maybe people who like to write not necessarily books, but just short stories, small fantasies to take there mind from what this world is. Corrupt, One-sided, Greedy, Narcissistic. Of course there are exceptions to these traits but truthfully the majority of those people are on the losing team. But why does one sacrifice what he/she knows is right? Smashing their moral compass to wander there way to the "winning" side.Because that is where "prosperity" is in the eyes of our society. Money, things, lots and lots of things, power and standing and position above our peers. But what about contentment? is that so far gone that no one is happy with the things that they have. Not needing MORE and BIGGER things just cause he or she got one or has one or is getting one. I say when a family learns to live within their means and with contentment that is when our society will be truly happy. That is when our "carbon footprint" will be smaller, that is when our "deficit" will get smaller, That is when our "stress" will be less. Ooh I rhymed. And it is when people who are needed to lead will step forth.

The Lessons We Learn From Love.

There is nothing more tragic then the love that got away. The perfect one who slid through your fingers like water through a siv no matter how tight you hold her you watch her slip away. Drip by drip she falls and all you feel is that small hope of saving just a small piece of her, but gravity in its cruelty pulls her from you. Each drop that falls is another inch of her cold shoulder turning away from you. Your words go unheard, your love goes unfelt. and all your left with is empty hands and an empty heart.

This is too all of you who have lost a love and have burning regret. I know very few will read this but I hope whoever it does reach know that someone has felt the same.

The price of love.

My heart is heavy. My body is weak, each day I walk without you is one one more day my soul crumbles. Piece by piece it cracks as the space between us grows. My life is hollow without your beauty to fill me with joy. My actions are meaningless without you there to share in my joy.  My world is void of color but your presence brings with it a rainbow that fill my eyes with wonder. My life is nothing without you. I am a phantom with not but the memory of our love. Oh how cruel is life that it would lead me to the girl of my dreams only to steal her  away when my need was most great. Love is hope but what hope do you have when the one you love walks out of your life? 

The world goes round.

"You must widen your gaze" a line from the bad guy in Sherlock Holmes I think Blackwell was his name or something like that but that particular line has stuck with me for the last few days. As a person in today's society my little bubble is my gaze, my immediate surroundings, what's going on with ME that is all we see. We have a disease of shortsightedness  in the world today. And I know I'm a culprit of this my life has been a culmination of choices for the here and now my gaze has been short and naive. Life is short I've come to understand and if you keep your gaze short then each day will pass by and nothing will be achieved. You will live your life for with no meaning instead of reaching for something that in the end would benefit you rather then keep you stuck in the same old rut. I think that's what I'm in now sort of a rut. Days pass by and I feel as if nothing has changed, nothing is achieved as if I've wasted that day. In essence I have wasted it but as the days becomes weeks and weeks months then the realization of your wasted existence finally smacks you in the face. I called this post The world goes round because even in all of shortsightedness and our wasted time the world truly continues to turn as if your life means nothing in the overall scheme of things, really gives you perspective on how giant our world actually is. Right now a person is dieing of starvation, right now a child is born, right now rain is falling, the world is so large and filled with SO much that we as human beings cannot truly grasp it. Something I always think about when I'm driving is that there are all these cars next to me and each car is driven by someone. And that person has somewhere to be has something to do and has a life.I have no idea what their life has been like or who they are. Now that's just a little traffic on an Idaho freeway but imagine California, New York, Tokyo every person on those streets every person walking on the sidewalks everyone has a story everyone has a life lived and ready to be lived but no matter what they're going through or what you're going through the world keeps turning people go on their daily routines and nothing has changed in the overall flow of humanity. Really gives you perspective and shows you how truly tiny were in the grand architecture of human life. I feel repetitive talking about the "flow of humanity" but even still I can't truly understand what that even is. Me as an American seeing and having practically everything I could ask for but still taking it for granted. But a child with no family has to live on the streets and beg just to push the hunger pains away. That is our humanity. Our humanity is that we Americans are richer than 90% of the worlds population. and yet we trillions of dollars in debt. Truthfully I can't understand what the "Flow of humanity" is because there are so many people that come from so many different walks of life that I could never even fathom. I guess it goes to say that you truly can't understand someone until you've walked a mile in there shoes. I guess all we can do is do our best. To have sympathy for those in need but not just that to see it, understand it, and fix it. This post has kind of been all over the place but these are just things that have been swirling around in my head lately. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Time Took a Walk.

This is a poem I wrote in response to my reading from the book of Romans yesterday. Hope you enjoy.


Time took a walk, a walk straight into the past, past the memories of fun and joy, past
 the memories that hurt and destroy. Time took a walk.

Time took a walk, it's feet made lines of chalk, the lines are the paths we chose to walk, and right behind us time stalks. Time took a walk.

Time took a walk, with his lips he said stop, because the path I chose to walk was not lined with chalk. That is why time took a walk.

Time took a walk so he could tell me to stop, to stop on that path not lined with chalk, the path was lined by fire that led to my sinful desire. That is why time took a walk.

Time took a walk, when he said to stop time took my hand and led me to a glorious man. Time took me on a walk.

Time took me on a walk, and showed me a man who would destroy the fire of my sinful desire. I knew that man would halt my distress and show me righteousness. I knew now why time took a walk.

Time took a walk, because time was the man, time was the man because time was in his hand. Just as time took my hand so too did the man, he took my hand and showed me the beauty of his fathers land.

Time took a walk, and I walk with him.

People peer in the window of my soul!

Having someone there. Having a community around you. For some writers solitude works. But for me its the onsets of insanity. Being around others is the way of energizing myself and it translates into my writing I can see that the more I try to just be alone and write the less I actually can. I've found for me that friendship and community and just being around people helps my writing tremendously. It helps the words flow, I can open my mind to places that I couldn't do alone. I can watch, I can notice, and it helps my creative gears start turning. conversation, facial expressions, they can go straight into my writing or into the memory bank of future ideas. Also having people there to help encourage you to see your work to bounce ideas off 'Cough" Will. It helps a lot, you can speak aloud your plot, your ideas and it can make them easier to mold and fit in your story. Also you can get opinions and idea's that otherwise you wouldn't have on your own. My journey of writing so far has been a different one then I expected. I expected the challenges of character depth, of plot mix ups or verbal mishaps but I never suspected the personal things it would put on my heart. Writing opens up a part of your soul that sometimes never sees the light of day. Writing can reveal who the writer really is and for me that has been a very fearful task. Who would want everyone who has ever read your work to be able to see your true self. /raises hand. Not me.... but as a aspiring writer I've seen its part of the process. In order to understand how you can write you have to understand whats on you heart and what is inside. People can help you find that. Friends, family, community, they are all relationships that show us who we are. Relationship is a basic human need, and also relationships shape us into who we are. and by understanding our relationships we can truly understand ourselves. Write with an open soul and print the words of your heart because if you do nothing can hold you back.

To outline or not to outline?

So for the last couple days I've seem to hit a wall with my writing. I sit down and I start to write but the words didn't seem to flow like usual and I felt like my story was becoming stagnant. Up to that point I had always written on the fly just whatever ideas came into my head I put down on the page but I've seen now that that way has added to the snails pace that my writing has been going. I've done some research and some writers outline and some don't I thought that I was a no outline kinda person but today on a beautiful Idaho day I decided to take a walk in the park near my house and sit down and try to outline. And it worked!! It felt easier to create events in sequence and then create the dialogue and action based on bigger events to work toward. And so today from outlining I think I've written my best scene yet! So my advice would be try both methods see which one works the best! but I think outlining really helps to create a good structure for your writing and to help speed up the process! So take a second a write out some ideas in sequence, they don't have to be long explanations just write down and visual each scene as it happens then as your writing work on filling the gaps between them you'll see how much easier your writing becomes when you have scenes to build towards!

May your words flow freely and your pencils stay sharp!

Whats this thing all about?

So I wanted to make a post that sort of clarifies what I want to achieve with this blog. Like many others I've found that writing can be a very hard task to do alone and like a lot of people I use the Internet because it's an amazing source of information. What I want to do is not only to document my transformation as a writer but to make a place where other writers can come and learn, and read, and find answers to questions that they might have. I've learned so far that writing for me isn't something I just do. Like reading, or playing guitar, or watching a movie but writing has become a way for me to be myself and to express myself in ways that other things can't help me do. Everyday sitting down and creating something that I myself have conceived in my mind is such an amazing feeling. And I want to be able to share that feeling with others that might be to hesitant or not confident enough in themselves to take that leap. So I need you, the people that read this to help me to extend my invitation to other writers. If you know people interested in writing or someone who has talked about it lead them here. Show them a post anything but this blog isn't just for me. It's not just something to help me put my thoughts down but its a place where others can come and learn from the things that I've done and the mistakes I've made. Because you never know that person that you help might be the next Shakespeare or C.S. Lewis or J.K. Rowling. But even if they aren' at least you've helped someone to do something that they've have up till now only dreamt of doing. Help me help others.

May your words flow freely and your pencils stay sharp!

Writing is just like anything else.

Did you know writing takes some real time? I didn't really know that till after a week of writing I seemed to have gotten no where. Maybe a page or to but what I've figured out is that writing takes specific time. You can't just go through your day writing little bits at a time, spread out over a whole day. I mean you can but you won't get as much quality writing time in. But if you set a time say maybe two or three hours that you delegate just to writing you'll will see some big improvements in the amount you can write. Make yourself a comfortable place to just be alone and write and you'll be amazed at the content you can create. By delegating a certain time you can put more effort in to the task at hand. Clear your mind of all other things and just envelope yourself in your story. Another thing I have found helpful is setting daily and weekly goals.  Goals can help you visualize what your after and better motivate you do achieve them. Goals like reaching a certain number of words or reaching a certain point in your story by certain dates. These can help you to stay motivated and work hard. Motivation is a big factor I know for me sometimes you just don't feel like writing or "Oh I'll just write more tomorrow" but you HAVE and I repeat HAVE to push through that. Writing everyday even if its for a shorter amount of time will help you get through those little speed bumps cause if you make excuses for one day they will just continue to roll over to the next day and so on and so forth. If you don't feel like working on a specific piece one day work on something else, the biggest thing is you're writing every day. Just like any sport or activity it takes practice to get good at it it's the same with writing but sometimes we don't see that. Professional basketball players get good because their in the gym every day and so professional writers need to be sitting down in front of a pad of paper or their computer every day. Professional sounds like a big term, not all of us are professional writers and neither am I but practice is the key to being good at anything so if you want to become a good writer then practice is just part of the deal. Writing is like anything else it takes time and practice.

May your words flow freely and your pencils stay sharp!

The world we live in.

There are things all around us that captivate us whether its a beautiful pink rose, the rustling of autumn leaves, the smell of a freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. The thing about writing is the world is your giant box of descriptors. Everything around us can be used if we just look hard enough and open our eyes to them. Today for example. I am a student at Northwest Nazarene University and in our chapel service our choir sang. The music was absolutely gorgeous and while sitting and listening to them sing an idea came to me for a scene in my book. Using things like this can open doors to new ideas and the best thing to do is write them down. Even if it seems like what your writing doesn't mean a lot like the bright color of a fire hydrant but the point is your practicing seeing. And you never know maybe someday that bright red fire hydrant will make its way into one of your stories, you just never know. One way I've learned to work on this skill is by taking a walk. Set time aside to just walk and observe, pay extra attention to things that you don't usually pay attention too. And when you get back write them all down, write down all the things you remember. You can't imagine the new things you will see, the new smells, the new sounds, the world is full of amazing things and sometimes in our busy day to day lives we miss those things. Doing this can help you see the world you live in more clearly and by doing so more clearly create a world for your readers. So takes some time, open your eyes and see what you might of been missing because what you've been missing might help you to truly see.

What's in a name?

Chris, John, Amy, Alex, who do you think of when you hear those names? Probably people in your life, family, friends, neighbors, your archenemy. Names are powerful and choosing a name for your character or characters can be a daunting task. Everyone has certain predispositions about names because of experiences that they have shared with those certain people and as a writer you think about that. Well I guess I don't know about others but for me picking a name or names is important. Names can create or break emotional attachment to the character and when your writing you want people to empathize with your characters to form a bond with them throughout your work. I mean think about this names for example, Harry. You can't tell me that Harry Potter wasn't the first thing that came to you mind. Or for some of you older folks When Harry Met Sally which is understandable. Name recognition is a powerful thing and creating a character like that can help put your book or whatever type of work that you're doing out there. Names can create a type of environment around a character that wherever that character goes it brings it with them. Boldness, creepiness, attraction, evil, or good those are just examples and if you can create a character and name them accordingly you can create a famous or infamous character. Which makes me geek out because I just think that is really cool! For me right now some of my characters have a [Insert name here] and the search still continues so good luck and search hard for the perfect names.

A Writer's Reality??

What does that title even mean.... Well it means two things and I chose it for that very reason. If you read the description of the blog you might of been able to pick up on this but if not here is an explanation. A Writer's Reality is two things one its the reality of actually being a writer which for me right now is a lot harder then it seems. Writing for school your always under a deadline and it always has to be a certain length but writing for pleasure I guess you can say seems to go a lot slower. Mostly because the idea your creating is an every changing thing, when it comes to a specific topic say for school you can read about it, you can research it and you can pretty much know everything about it. but when your writing a story straight from your imagination it's a lot more difficult to fully understand everything thus making the process slower and longer. This frustrates me at times because I feel as if I'm not getting anything done. But this truth has help me press on and it's the fact that there are probably millions of people that believe they can write and they think that they have a book in them or a poem or whatever but they don't actually do it. They just tell themselves that they can. But I'm actually writing I'm actually going through with what I want to do and that means I'm one step ahead of all those other people and when I'm done writing my novel I know I'll look back and be glad that I did. Switching gears to the second meaning of the title which is really more self explanatory but A Writer's Reality is the attempt to create a new reality for your readers so that they can immerse themselves completely in your writing. Every story that I read I rate it by that very thing. It's ability to transport me into the story as if I'm a spectator in the events unfolding. I don't know about all of you but reading for me is one of the best escapes and now writing is helping me to create my own escape not something that someone else has created but a world all my own. And that for me has been an awesome experience so far. So my final thing is if you want to write and you believe that you have something to write then do it, don't sit in the "I think I could do this" stage but take that chance and do it.

Here's a sneak peak!

The hallway extended into absolute darkness, doors lined the walls. "Where are they?" Nathan thought. He could hear their voices but every door he opened revealed nothing but empitness. Nathan could feel his heart rate rising. Panic began to grip his body. "Mom! Dad!" he screamed "where are you? I need you, I can't do this alone!" Nathan woke with a start as thunder cracked its mighty whip and lightning flashed outside his window. "It was only a dream" he thought. It had been three years since his parents George and Lily Rodrick went missing. The police searched for months but no information was found on their whereabouts, it was as if they just vanished.
Nathan wondered how this could have happened to him and his family, they were so normal. His father was an office worker in downtown New York and his mother taught night classes at the local community college. The three of them had lived in a small two bedroom apartment. They had lived there since Nathan was two years old, but 6 days after his twelfth birthday is when everything changed.
So many police, they searched every room, every square inch of the apartment but they found nothing to aide the search for his missing parents. The apartment became a prison for the happiness that he once had. The night after the police search his uncle came and picked him up from the police station and from then on that is whom he stayed with. His uncle Steven lived in a small town in upstate New York with his two daughters Marie and Jennifer. Every summer he stayed with them and during the school year he traveled to a boarding school called Hamshire Academy of Arts and Sciences.
Nathan sat up, his mind slowly pulling itself back to the present. His room was still and quiet. He leaned over and looked at his clock. It was 3:00 a.m. He had five more hours until his first class, but the harder he tried to forget his dream the more difficult it was to fall asleep. His mind swirled with questions. What did it mean? Could they be alive and trying to contact me somehow? His parents voices still echoing in his mind. "I miss them so much" he thought to himself, and in his sadness his mind became still and sleep overcame him.

Writing it all down.

Write.Stop. Read. Edit. Write. Stop. Read. Edit. I talked to an old high school teacher recently and she warned me against this type of writing. The reason is because it hinders the creative process. And it stops ideas from flowing from you mind in the order that they come to you which can lesson the strength of your content. The most efficient way of writing a novel or anything for that matter is getting it all out! By doing that you complete the idea and once you get everything out then its time to look back over it. I know I really struggle with this and its from growing up in a "get everything right the first time society" we have such an expectation about how everything looks and if it doesn't look right we have to fix it but in the writing process there is a time to write and a time to edit and they are completely different. So new writing style = Write. Write. Write. Write. Write. Writing finished. Edit. Edit. Edit. Edit.

Understanding the craft.

Words, there are millions upon millions of words in this world. Words of different languages, different meanings words are what shape our understanding of things. Words are all around us. and understanding how to use those words and what they truly mean is imperative to creating an all encompassing reality in your story. an awesome quote from one of my favorite movies V for Vendetta is said by the character V. "Words are of the means to meaning and for those who will listen the enunciation of truth." every time I listen to that line it hits a chord somewhere. In a sense he means words are freedom they let the mind travel through the imaginary world. It lets people think and open their minds up to new ideas. That is what I want my writing to do I want people when they read my work to SEE. I want it to open their eyes to something that they had never seen before something that can rocket them away from their current situation and transport them to a place that changes the way they perceive the world. I want my writing to bolster the imagination of people because imagination creates change. Imagination, creativity, and ingenuity can be catalysts for this ever changing world to push it in the right direction. For some including myself believe that writing is something that only talented people can do and for the most talent plays a huge factor but nothing is done without practice and be able to create words and story in this way will take hard work that I'm not looking forward to too be honest but I know it has to be done. Practice in the sense that I'm using it is not the forced practice of school I'm talking about something that opens up your creative senses something that forces you to think without fear of the thoughts that crawl into your mind. Practice in this sense is the pathway to creating something that makes those who read it "open their eyes to see and their ears to hear and their hearts to change". I can thank Jesus for those words taken from the book of Matthew. Think about that for yourself, think about how words impact you everyday. And maybe together we can use the power of words to fix this world.

The story of my life.

What makes an exciting story? I sort of touched on this in my last post. Is it action, love, transformation? There are so many different things that occur in a story, take our lives for example our lives are ever changing ever evolving stories even if we think of them as that or not. They are filled with love, hate, excitment, sadness, and a continues barrage of decisions. Everything pushes us towards and shapes who we are. Something I'm struggling with right now is how can I write a story that I enjoy when I don't enjoy my own story. I'm not talking about my family or my friends or my circumstances but I'm talking about myself. Up till today and probably but not hopefully in to the future I was and am an unmotivated, lazy, procrastinative person. I can't explain why I guess I was born this way and even now its kind of wierd to admit these things about myself but all my life I've done nothing and up until now I never fully realized that. There have been amazing things that have happened in my life, amazing people, amazing events but I know now that I've taken it all for granted. The scariest thing that you come to understand about life is that it will be over sooner than you think. and now I've been thinking of all the time I've wasted. What has it all added up to? What at this point in my life do I have to show for the previous 19 years? Not much. I see now that I'm at a crossroads of a very important decision to continue on this path or change directions and make something new of my life something I can be proud of. The journey that I'm on to become a fiction writer is more then writing and creating a new reality for my readers but its also a journey to understand my own reality and what my life is and what it can be. To answer my own question I believe that there is no form to an exciting story, yes there are certain elements of stories that draw us in and keep us reading but for the reader is an individual no one but themselves can understand what truly makes them happy. and if your life story makes you happy and what you do makes you happy then that my friend is one exciting story. Whoever is out there reading this don't let yoursef be stuck in the place that I've been stuck for my whole life. Make that decision to change not for others but for yourself so that when your time comes you can look back with no regret. Leave nothing unfinished, run every race, turn over every stone, and live life to the fullest.

Drama anyone?

What is the most enticing part of a story? is it the action, the love, the transformation? yes but I think the biggest grabber of someones attention is DRAMA! The event or events that are so filled with emotion and so heart wretchingling sappy that you cant help but feel for the character. I just spent an entire evening watching Gossip Girl with my girlfriend and no I didnt choose it she decided to watch it and I wanted to do what would make her happy but the point is shows like that live off drama its the main reason people tune in week after week. and it creates a reality of Thank the Lord my life isn't like that but even though we watch it for that very reason because we like living through characters. Its as if were living our lives through anothers eyes delving in and becoming all that is that certain character. Be real with yourself everyone has a favorite character from a T.V. show/ movie. Even when you were a kid cartoons like Tom and Jerry it was all based on how Tom was gonna try and catch Jerry each episode even though you knew he never would. Its the same with DRAMA! We know its going to happen but yet we still let it shock us. Why is that? Maybe once I understand this I might actually be able to write a beginning scene that makes my readers want to keep turning the pages. Cause after all isn't that what writings about? Keeping your reader interested the whole time their reading your work. One can only hope.

Creating a character.

One insanely hard part about writing is understanding your own characters. I think for me right now I have sort of naiveness towards my character because im just writing to write but how do I create a story without truly understanding the character for which im writing. I have to step in his/her shoes I have to become someone else or even multiple characters for the entirety of a book.

Putting it on paper.

Translation of ideas from your mind to the paper is more difficult then I anticipated its not the idea thats hard but an idea that has weight. Something you can carry on for a few pages if your writing a childrens book but how much weight does an idea need to write a novel? Or am I just overcomplicating things by putting so much pressure on one single idea to get me through an entire 300-500 pages. But I mean it seems that all other writers, the ones that write something of woth have an AHA! sort of moment. What does it take to come up with an idea like that? Talent, Formal training?

Where do ideas come from?

Originality.. I think thats the biggest thing I'm struggling with right now. I know that all the books and things I've read create a treasure trove of ideas and scenarios but how can I put my own story down when all the others are crowding in my head. Names, places, plots its like there is so much in my head that I can't find something that I can actually sit down and write about. I think that stems from the fear of being regected I know that not all ideas are A+ but who wants to be told that what they wrote sucks! Not me thats for sure so I guess the thing now is to get over that fear and just write what comes into my head without bias of the words or ideas. wish me luck.

The Journey begins.

Writing has always been fascinating to me as a kid I loved to read and it just dawned on me that shouldn't a love for reading fiction translate into loving to write it? It only seems logical. Who wouldn't you want to create a story that maybe thousands of people would delve into and become engrossed in the reality that you shaped inside your mind. Seems like a dream to me at this point and it seems like a hard road ahead if im ever going to see that happen.